


cookie crumbs in the rolls

by honeysugarchocolate



Category: Winner (Band), iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Mechanic! Bobby Rich! Hanbin, Eventual Romance, Humor, M/M, a side JunBin cuz i couldn't help myself, basically a week of double b getting under each other's skin but it all ends in rainbows and shit, bobby: you're pretty darn spoiled, hanbin: i stopped listening after pretty. [chirpy] why bobby you're so kind, somebody PLEASE get hanbin a cookie!!!, this is written in a script format cuz why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-09-01 18:48:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20262817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeysugarchocolate/pseuds/honeysugarchocolate
Summary: One week, one fucked up porsche, two boys and an all important cookie.





	1. Sunday, technically Monday.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katzengefluster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzengefluster/gifts).

> honestly, katzengefluster, your double b AUs give me life. even if you'll prolly never see this, let it be known that i love you and am willing to give up my kidneys for you any day of the week
> 
> ANYWAY, thanks for reading. hope this makes you laugh/smile a lil ♡

## Sunday, technically Monday.

[12:30AM. Bobby is next to a car, wiping the grease from his hands with a cloth, a thin coat of sweat covering his face. Minho enters the garage.]

MINHO: "You done with that one yet?"

BOBBY: "Nah, she still needs some work."

MINHO: "How come? You started a week ago."

BOBBY: "She's a bitch, I'll give her that." (Wiping the grease off his hands with a cloth.) "I'll be done by tomorrow though."

MINHO: "Don't bother, something tells me that the hag that owns it ain't gonna pay up."

BOBBY: "What makes you say that?"

MINHO: "She bought a new one yesterday, no way in hell's she coming back here for this piece of shit."

BOBBY: (Looks back at the car, expression falls.) "Oh."

MINHO: "Don't stress it, kid. You did a good job, it was just a bad investment."

BOBBY: "Okay." (Looks back at Minho, shrugs.) "I don't care. Can I go home now?"

MINHO: "No, sorry. We got one more costumer. Rich kid, lives up in the Hamptons."

BOBBY: "Why would she come here, then?"

MINHO: "Beats me. But HE looks like the kind that'll pay big. Probably fucked it up and he's here to hide it from daddy." (Turns and is about to leave the garage.)

BOBBY: "Where are you going?"

MINHO: "Home."

BOBBY: "But I don't." (hesitant.) "I can't even speak to regular costumer, let alone some snobby-ass priss."

MINHO: "Dude, don't make me smack you. It's just one costumer." (Holding his forefinger up.) "Here, I'll lay it out for you; what's wrong with your car? There, see? That wasn't difficult."

BOBBY: "Fine..." (Waits for Minho to turn around.) "... smartass."

MINHO: "What was that?"

BOBBY: "Nothing, nothing."

[Scene shifts to Hanbin pushing his car inside the garage. Bobby puts down the cloth and walks over.]

BOBBY: "You need some help with that?"

HANBIN: "Yeah, that would be nice. Yeah, would you be a dear and help me before my back breaks?" (Bobby goes behind the beat up Porsche with Hanbin and pushes.) "Thanks."

BOBBY: (Glances at Hanbin's watch as he fixes his hair.) "Sorry, I should've helped you earlier."

HANBIN: "No, it's alright. I'm sure it would've been hard to notice a Porsche at this dump."

BOBBY: (Purses his lips, bites his lips.) "So what's wrong with your car?"

HANBIN: "I fucked it up and I'm here to hide it from daddy, obviously."

BOBBY: (Eyebrows knotted.) "Could you be a little more precise?"

HANBIN: "Oh, and I'm a snobby brat. Sorry, I must've forgotten about that part."

BOBBY: (Realizes.) "You overheard."

HANBIN: "Overheard, What? I don't know what you're talking about." (Squints his eyes at his name tag.) "Bonny."

BOBBY: "It's Bobby, but my boss has a bit of an odd sense of humor."

HANBIN: (Dismissive.) "Whatever. I'm here because like I said. I fucked up my car. Because that seems to be all I do these days, just fuck everything up."

BOBBY: (Conciliatory.) "Could you please be a little more specific?"

HANBIN: "Not really, no. Besides, you're the mechanic. Assess the damage."

BOBBY: (Walks to the front of the Porsche, views it.) "Looks to me that your bumpers are dented, big time."

HANBIN: (Immediately.) "Oh really, now? Thank you so much for pointing out the obvious. Really, you're my hero."

BOBBY: (Trying to concentrate, props up the hood.) "I have a process."

HANBIN: "Excuse me?" (Walks to where Bobby is standing.)

BOBBY: "A process. I don't. I can't... work with someone breathing down my neck so please be quiet for a little while."

HANBIN: (A minute later.) "So... can you fix it?"

BOBBY: "Shh."

HANBIN: (30 seconds later.) "How 'bout now?"

BOBBY: (Annoyed.) "Shh."

HANBIN: (Immediately.) "What about now?"

BOBBY: "Shut the fuck up already!" (Visibly irritated.) "God."

HANBIN: "Wow." (Smirks.) "He's got a temper."

BOBBY: "You know what." (Closes the hood.) "Fuck off. Fix your own damn car."

HANBIN: "But I'm paying you."

BOBBY: "I don't want your money."

HANBIN: "Everyone wants money."

BOBBY: "I don't."

HANBIN: "We're humans, bub." (Steps closer, looks him dead in the eye.) "Money's all everybody wants."

BOBBY: (leans down so he's at eye-level with Hanbin.) "Not me. Now get out."

HANBIN: "And sex. People love sex." (Pouting.) "It's a beautiful, corrupted little tragedy."

BOBBY: "Leave."

HANBIN: "No."

BOBBY: (5 minutes of silence follows, Hanbin has his hands folded and both stare each other down. Bobby finally breaks the stalemate.) "Fine. I'll try to, but follow my rules or fuck off."

HANBIN: "Do you want an extra tip for that?"

BOBBY: "Stop offering me money."

HANBIN: "Why Bobby, you're so coy." (Watches Bobby start working on the car again.) "Are you—" (Bobby looks up, narrows his eyes at Hanbin.) "I'll shut up now, I promise."

BOBBY: "What exactly happened to this?" (Waits for a response, realizes.) "You can speak now."

HANBIN: "Oh thank god. That was torture." (Exhales in relief.) "My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, thought it'd be funny to steal it and go for a joy-ride with his buddies."

BOBBY: "What happened during this joy-ride?"

HANBIN: "The fucker crashed into a pole. Broke his friend's leg. Not that I care about that. My car on the other hand."

BOBBY: "That does sort of explain it."

HANBIN: "Sort of?"

BOBBY: "One pole couldn't have done all that damage."

HANBIN: "Wait, are you saying that he crashed it... more than once? (Raises eyebrows.) "I'm gonna kill him. That mother fucker. That mother-fucking, dick-loving asshol—"

BOBBY: "Hey quiet! there are kids in this neighborhood. I'll be done with your car by the end of this week. But until then, I'm afraid running him down isn't a viable killing strategy. Not with this car, anyway."

HANBIN: "Oh trust me, I have plenty more elaborate plans in mind. The fucker won't know what hit him."

BOBBY: "Didn't you." (Eyebrows pulled together.) "Didn't you say you were the one that crashed it?"

HANBIN: "Yeah, I lied."

BOBBY: "Why?"

HANBIN: "Because you're a stranger, and my personal life is personal."

BOBBY: "So then why didn't you go to a different mechanic when I said no?"

HANBIN: "Because it's one A.M and I'm tired. Too fucking tired."

BOBBY: "I see. Well, the total cost would be... a lot. Just, by the way."

HANBIN: "It's whatever. How bad is it though?"

BOBBY: "Well, let's see; you need new ignition coils, a new coolant temperature sensor for sure, the gas circulation-valve's gone to shit, the catalytic converter is basically nonexistent. And that's all without including the bumper and the body... Don't even get me started on the brakes."

HANBIN: "I have no idea what you just said. But okay."

BOBBY: "Basically, it's pretty fucked up. But I can fix it."

HANBIN: "Great. And I'll pay you whatever amount. My dad just can't know about this, don't call him, or tweet about this. Please."

BOBBY: "I wasn't planning to. How would I even know your dad?"

HANBIN: "He's the—" (Closes his mouth.) "Right, sorry. I say stupid shit at one in the morning. Thank you."

BOBBY: "See you next week."

HANBIN: "You too, Bonny."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited; so excuse the mistakes. this is a mere stress-reliever for me because this semester's been so hectic BUT PLS do tell me what you think of it bc i'm no mind reader. wish if i was tho bc how cool would that be but sadly i'm not professor xavier's long lost child so


	2. Monday.

## Monday.

Scene 1  
[Kim manor. Main foyer. 4:30PM. Mr and Mrs Kim are talking. Hanbin's tip-toeing in the background.]

SEOLMIN: (Fixing Jeongju's tie.) "We simply must attend Minhyun's Charity auction this weekend— everyone who's anyone in the Hamptons will be there."

JEONGJU: "All right. It'll help with the election, remind me to take some cue cards before we leave. And make sure we buy something expensive."

SEOLMIN: "Of course. The voters will eat that up."

JEONGJU: "Also, you need to avoid Minhyun's sister. Seohyun, you remember her?"

SEOLMIN: "I do." (Tightens Jeongju's tie, smile sickly sweet.) "I believe she's the one you had an affair with."

JEONGJU: "Yes, her! We must at all costs, avoid her— I think she's still a smidge salty about the whole affair business."

SEOLMIN: (Lets go of the tie, pats at the creases, still smiling.) "Not anymore. She's been rather pleasant since learning Seon Mi will be off to college soon— at zero percent financial aid, might I add."

JEONGJU: "Her daughter? You didn't?" (Smirks, leans forward, kisses Seolmin.) "I knew I married you for a reason."

SEOLMIN: "Oh, Jeongju how you tease me." (Notices something from the corner of her eye, turns.) "Hanbin! Where are you sneaking off to?"

HANBIN: (Like a deer in the headlights.) "Uh... to Junhoe's?"

JEONGJU: "You two must really be getting along well. True love birds, just like your mother and I."

HANBIN: "Yeah, of course. I'll just uh, take the car and get there and... give him your best. (Shuffles, avoiding eye contact.) "Bye." (Scurries out the door.)

JEONGJU: (Once Hanbin left.) "That was odd."

SEOLMIN: "I read about this in that Having A Gay Child manual. He needs to know we support him 300%."

JEONGJU: "What more can we do? We set him up with all his boyfriends. If that's not supportive, I don't know what is."

SEOLMIN: "He'll be fine. Get him something nice and he'll light up like a Christmas tree."

###

Scene 2  
[Mino's auto garage. 5:00PM. Bobby's working on the Porsche's engine. Hanbin walks in, inconspicuously. Sits down on the desk behind Bobby.]

HANBIN: "How long will this take again?"

BOBBY: "Oh god, why are you here already? I said a week, Riches. Go home."

HANBIN: "I can't stay at home. I'm shit at lying, my parents would find out."

BOBBY: "Yeah, you do suck at lying. You're also the Mayor's kid."

HANBIN: "How did you know that?"

BOBBY: (Head still under the car's hood.) "It's called Google."

HANBIN: "Huh. Whatever." (Looks around swinging his legs back and forth, sighs audibly.) "Am I supposed to be doing something?"

BOBBY: "No, wouldn't want those freshly manicured hands getting dirty."

HANBIN: "They're not— and either way, men get manis. That's why they're called man-icures and not woman-icures."

BOBBY: (Looks up, turns to Hanbin, brows raised.) "That was single-handedly the gayest thing I've ever heard in my life."

HANBIN: (shrugs.) "Comes with the territory." (Bobby flattens his lips together, turns and continues working on the engine.) "So... What's it like to... work?"

BOBBY: "Are you for real?" (Scoffs.) "It pays for food and helps me save up for college."

HANBIN: "That sounds cool."

BOBBY: "Yeah, I eat everyday, how cool am I."

HANBIN: "I didn't really know what else to say, so."

BOBBY: "Then try not talking. The faster I fix this car, the sooner you'll be gone."

HANBIN: "Well, that wasn't rude at all."

BOBBY: "I'm not nice. Build a bridge and cross it. Or fall off and drown. I'd prefer you take the second opt."

HANBIN: (Gives Bobby back a venomous look, remembers it's pointless, sighs and continues swinging his legs.) "I want a cookie."

BOBBY: (Rearranging wires.) "Okay?"

HANBIN: "Could you get me a cookie?"

BOBBY: "could you suck my dick?"

HANBIN: "What— no. Do you have cookies?"

BOBBY: "Yeah, up my ass. Want some?"

HANBIN: "Wow, you're not a nice person. Like, at all."

BOBBY: "Which is what I said like, 5 seconds ago, like totes, like."

HANBIN: "Asshole."

BOBBY: "Brat."

HANBIN: "I'm not a brat."

BOBBY: "Okay, Riches."

HANBIN: "Why are you so mean?"

BOBBY: "This isn't the Hamptons, sweetheart, I'm not predisposed to do whatever you want."

HANBIN: "Most people just do it instead of making a huge deal out of it, you know."

BOBBY: "Yeah, no— that's not happening. So sit down, shut up and let me work on your car."

HANBIN: "I'm already sitting."

BOBBY: "Then follow step two and three."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i absolutely adore the feedback this is getting so i posted TWO chapters cuz im nice like that :)


	3. Tuesday.

## Tuesday.

[Mino's Auto Garage. 5:30PM. Hanbin sits on the desk, swinging his legs back and forth. Bobby's struggling to keep the hood propped up.]

HANBIN: "I got my cookie, by the way. I ate it too. It was a nice cookie, it was a pleasant cookie... it was the best of times, it was the worst of times." (Waits for a response, continues anyway.) "Mostly best because cookies are pleasant to be around."

BOBBY: "Quit talking."

HANBIN: (Gesturing to Bobby.) "You on the other hand. (Bobby shakes his head and continues working. Hanbin takes a gander of the place.) "Speaking of cookies, could you get me one now?" (Waves it off immediately.) "Nope. Never mind. Don't answer that. You're mean. Mean people don't have cookies. Except for that witch in that book— the one who turned out to be a cannibal? Although she wasn't exactly a cannibal, since the kids weren't other witches."

[Silence ensues. Bobby's focused on the car. Hanbin sighs loudly, bored.]

HANBIN: "Nice people give you cookies. Cookies make you happy. Happy people don't just shoot their husbands." (Bobby turns for a second and squints at him.) "They just don't."

BOBBY: (Facing the car again.) "You really like cookies, don't you?"

HANBIN: "Mhmm. Whenever I'm pissed or annoyed, someone gets me a cookie, and suddenly the world is at peace again. Not actual peace though, since people keep campaigning about bringing 'world peace' all the time. Personally, I don't care about politics, which is odd because Mayor's son. It's like," (Pauses his lips in thought.) "It's like that book you have in your closet that you don't really plan on reading... but it's nice to pretend you are, eventually."

BOBBY: (Uninterested.) "You talk a lot."

HANBIN: "I do. I love talking. I like conversation more though, but given that you have your whole," (Gesturing to Bobby and the car.) "Process or whatever, which requires total monk-like silence, I don't conversation's up for discussion. Look, I made a pun. I'm so funny. (Smiling to himself. Notices that Bobby's in another world. Groans in frustration.) "Talk, or I'll throw a wrench at you and pretend it was that stray cat that's roaming around."

BOBBY: "She's not a stray, she's Minho's. And she likes me way too much to throw a wrench at me." (Afterthought.) "That, and she doesn't have thumbs, so."

HANBIN: (Staring at the cat walking around near his feet.) "Cats are like politicians. They're just there, whining about stuff, having sex and sleeping."

BOBBY: "Kim Jeong Ju's son, everybody." (Hood unhinges and falls on his head, hard.) "Fuck— ow!"

HANBIN: "Shit—" (Gets up from the desk, rushes over to Bobby who's holding the back of his head.) "Are you okay?"

BOBBY: "Fine, just." (Rubs at the spot a few times, then shrugs it off. Hanbin looks at him curiously.)

HANBIN: "You're sure?"

BOBBY: "Yes, Nurse Riches, I'm sure." (Props up the hood again. It unhinges.) "Damn it." (Tries again two more times to the same outcome.) "I need you to hold this up. It's gonna fall."

HANBIN: "Oh, yeah, sure." (Holds the hood up with his hand, looks at him for approval.) "Like this?"

BOBBY: "Perfecto. As soon as there's an award for something as trivial as holding a hood up, it's yours."

HANBIN: "See, now if you ate cookies, you wouldn't be so grumpy." (Looks down at Bobby's hand holding a wire, sees a gash on it, still bleeding.) "Your hand..."

BOBBY: "It's just a cut, Riches. Don't go Grey's anatomy on me."

HANBIN: "Just a cut?! You could get an infection or something." (Balances the hood on his head. Takes Bobby's hand in his, cradles it, mentally assesses the damage. Bobby looks up at Hanbin, focused on his hand, and flattens his lips together.) "At least clean it up. Do you have any antiseptic on you?"

BOBBY: "Look at me. No, look at me." (Pointing to himself: grease stains, dirt and all.) "Do I look like the kind of guy that carries around an antiseptic?"

HANBIN: (Shrugs.) "I probably have one in my car. Wait." (Goes to off to the side of the car.) 

BOBBY: (The hood falls on his head.) "Ow!"

HANBIN: (Looks back, hand covers mouth.) "Oops, sorry, that was— uh, are you okay?" (Bobby gives him the look of a homicidal maniac.) "Right." (Turns around, leans into the window of his car, searches around. Bobby glances at at the view briefly then goes back to massaging his forehead.) "Aha— found it!"

BOBBY: (Mumbles to himself, still massaging his forehead.) "Who the fuck carries a fucking—"

HANBIN: "There we go." (Squeezes some of the antiseptic out onto his own shirt, cleans Bobby's cut with it. Bobby looks at him, eyes wide, surprised, then returns to his previous indifferent demeanor.) "All better."

BOBBY: "I'm not about to throw you a party for this, you know."

HANBIN: "And I don't expect one. I'm not as spoiled as you may think."

BOBBY: "I think you're pretty darn spoiled, so."

HANBIN: "I stopped listening after pretty." (Chirpy.) "Why, Bonny you're so kind."

BOBBY: (Deadpanned.) "I think I'm starting to understand why someone would shoot their husband."

HANBIN: "I'm telling you. Cookies are important."

BOBBY: "Yeah, yeah can it and hold the hood up. And don't drop it this time."

HANBIN: (Holds it for a while. Actually stays silent for that amount of time, apart from whistling or humming. Alternates his arms to hold it up. Visibly in pain after some time.) "My arms hurt."

BOBBY: "Your arms are weak."

HANBIN: "My boyfriend can assure you that they're anything but."

BOBBY: "I didn't need to hear that."

HANBIN: "Yeah, well, my arms aren't week, and Junhoe's spent dick is proof of that."

BOBBY: "Again, did not need to hear that."

HANBIN: (Waits around. Agitated because of his arms.) "I'm letting go, Bobby."

BOBBY: "Don't let go."

HANBIN: "I'm letting go."

BOBBY: "Don't fucking let go, I'm almost done for the day."

HANBIN: (Heavy sigh.) "Fine... just to prove that I have the stamina of a hourse."

BOBBY: "Again with the things I don't need entering my ear canals..." (Pulling at a few parts, rearranging others, replacing a bolt. Finishing up.) "Done. Maybe you're not such a waste of womb."

HANBIN: "What? Oh thank god." (Flicks his swollen wrists.)

BOBBY: (Thump.) "Ow!" 

HANBIN: "Oh crap." (Unsure wether to laugh or not, tries to keep a serious expression.) "Sorry, I—"

BOBBY: "Are you trying to give me a fucking concussion?"

HANBIN: (Thinking over.) "Will it make you less grumpy?" (Bobby reaches his hands near Hanbin's neck slowly like he wants to strangle him but he can't.)


	4. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for slight junbin smut and the possibility that you might hate me (or hanbin) by the end of this chapter

## Wednesday.

Scene 1  
[Kim Manor. Hanbin’s room. 4:45PM. Junhoe’s playing on the Xbox. Hanbin is trying to get his attention.]

HANBIN: “Yo.” (Snapping his fingers in front of Junhoe, who’s staring blankly at the TV.) “We need to talk.” (Continues snapping.) “Junhoe!”

JUNHOE: “What? Oh sorry.” (Pauses the game, puts down the remote controller, looks up.) “What’s up, babe?”

HANBIN: “I’m breaking up with you.”

JUNHOE: (Lazy smile.) “Very funny.”

HANBIN: “I’m serious. I’m done, Junhoe. This isn’t working.”

JUNHOE: “Wait, for real? Babe, come on, don’t be silly.” (Stands up, hands on Hanbin’s arms.) “We’re great together.”

HANBIN: “We’re great together?! All we do is smile for cameras and fuck. I’m sick, Junhoe, I’m sick of it. I don’t want to do this any—”

JUNHOE: “Hey, hey.” (Hands on Hanbin’s cheek, moves his face closer.) “Come on. Don’t make us sound like that. You mean the fucking world to me, Binnie.” (Intimate.) “You’re all I can ever think about; it actually scares me how often I think of you.”

HANBIN: (Expressionless. Bored. Knowing.) “You’re so full of.” (Junhoe leans in and kisses Hanbin once, soft, chaste.) “Horse shit.” (Junhoe kisses him again, passionate this time, tongue teasing Hanbin’s bottom lip, pulls at Hanbin’s hair, his other hand snakes around Hanbin’s belt.) “Stop.” (Junhoe goes back to kissing Hanbin, aggressive, persistent, the hand in Hanbin’s hair slides down his torso and gingerly palms Hanbin’s cock through his jeans.) “Stop it.”

JUNHOE: “I love you,” (Breathless. Kissing Hanbin’s neck, Hanbin’s breath hitches.) “Don’t forget how good I make you feel,” (Faces Hanbin, kisses him, biting Hanbin’s plump lip, undoes Hanbin’s belt buckle, hands slipping inside Hanbin’s jeans to grab his ass cheeks, successfully eliciting a moan.) “It’s because I love you.”

HANBIN: “No…” (Weakly, barely believing himself.) “We shouldn’t be doing this.” (Moans loudly when Junhoe suddenly slips the tip of his finger past his entrance.)

JUNHOE: (Still sucking on Hanbin’s neck.) “We should definitely be doing this.”

HANBIN: (Junhoe pulls Hanbin’s jeans all the way down to his knees, along with his boxers. Hanbin visibly shivers, moaning low in his throat.) “Fuck it.” (Both go into a feverish kiss, lips raw, tongues entangled, sloppy, wet, slick. Shirts get discarded hurriedly, hands roam and lips explore. Junhoe pushes Hanbin against a wall, pulling his legs up until they surround his waist. Hanbin mutters profanities as Junhoe grinds against him. Hanbin throws his back in ecstasy, moaning, withering as Junhoe spits into his palm and stokes Hanbin’s cock slowly, teasingly, suckling and scattering wet kisses all over Hanbin’s chest.)

[Twenty minutes later, Junhoe’s playing on the Xbox. Hanbin gets up from the floor, gathers his clothes, changes quickly and leaves.]

##

Scene 2  
[Mino’s auto garage. Half an hour afterwards. Hanbin walks in. Bobby’s working on the car, as usual. Hanbin bends down to the car’s broken side-mirror and adjusts his hair. Once Hanbin sits down on the desk, he sighs loudly every thirty seconds until Bobby finally looks up at him.]

BOBBY: (Annoyed.) “What are you, a leaf blower? Knock it off.” (Hanbin sighs extendedly, glaring at Bobby.) “Do you need a doctor?”

HANBIN: (Giving up.) “You were supposed to ask me what’s wrong. That’s what normal people do when someone else is clearly distressed.”

BOBBY: “Oh.” (Realizing.) “I don’t care though.”

HANBIN: “Care.”

BOBBY: “What?”

HANBIN: “Care, or I’ll keep making Legally Blonde references. And I have every line memorized by heart, including the songs, so if I were you, I’d pick door number one. Door number one is a nice door, pick it.”

BOBBY: “But…” (Caught in between, struggling.) “Like, I really, really, really don’t care.”

HANBIN: (Unfazed.) “You got into Harvard Law? What, like it’s hard? Ohmigosh, Warner, I’m planning this great mixer. You have to help me.” (Bobby’s confused, then looks at him like ‘seriously?’.) “I’m thinking like a luau or casino tonight. It’ll be just like senior year except funner.” (Hanbin smiles devilishly.)

BOBBY: “Please, tell me that’s all you remember.”

HANBIN: “Oh, I wasn’t kidding, Bonny, I know the movie by heart— to the very last syllable. That movie is the reason I worked my ass off in school. Elle Woods is me; I am Elle Woods.” (Thinking it over.) “I am a cookie.”

BOBBY: (Raised his eyebrows, looks down, shakes his head and laughs.) “You’re fucking weird, Hanbin.”

HANBIN: “Woah, you actually called me by my name this time. Ten points to… what are you, Slytherin? You look like a Slytherin— all dark and assholish.”

BOBBY: “I’m a Gryffindor, thanks. Snakes scare me.”

HANBIN: “Please, you wish you were a Gryfinndor. Hufflepuff, at best.”

BOBBY: “Hufflepuff sucks.”

HANBIN: “Which is why you’d be perfect for them! Hanbin, the sorting hat, has spoken.”

BOBBY: (Removing the car’s bumper.) “Funny.”

HANBIN: “Now,” (Clears his throat.) “Ask me what’s wrong. Do it.”

BOBBY: “No.”

HANBIN: “Oh come on, I made you laugh. I’m funny. Look at me.” (Points to himself with both pointers, smiles sweetly.) “You can’t say no to this.”

BOBBY: “I didn’t laugh.”

HANBIN: “Yes, you did.”

BOBBY: “I’m not your therapist, Hanbin, I’m not gonna ask you what’s on your mind.”

HANBIN: (Snorts, announces as if he’s teaching a class.) “A legal education means you will learn to speak in a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you… and to sharply question what you know.” (Bobby gives him the same look, then sighs.) “The seat you have picked will be yours for the next nine months…”

BOBBY: “My head hurts, don’t you dare.”

HANBIN: (Yells.) “Of your life!”

BOBBY: “Oh god, that was loud.” (Cleaning his ear with his pinky finger, adjusts his mouth to make the imaginary ringing stop.) “And high-pitched. Please don’t take up singing, ever.”

HANBIN: “Care.”

BOBBY: (Recovers.) “Are you like, a real person?”

HANBIN: “I can do this all day, Hufflepuff.” (Takes a deep breath in, opens his mouth as if to recite a soliloquy.)

BOBBY: “Okay, okay! Stop. Okay, god.” (Reluctant, turns to Hanbin, through gritted teeth.) “What… the fuck… is wrong.”

HANBIN: (Looks up and gestures as if saying ‘finally’. Then back to Bobby.) “I can’t dump Junhoe.”

BOBBY: “Then don’t, dumbass. Problem solved.”

HANBIN: “No, problem not solved. He makes me miserable. I want a break up.”

BOBBY: “Then break up, dumbass. Problem solved.”

HANBIN: “It’s not that simple.”

BOBBY: “Everything’s simple.”

HANBIN: “It’s not. And I can’t. I tried. Lots of times. It’s like we’re… un-break-up-able.”

BOBBY: (Purses his lips, places his tools on the ground. Walks to Hanbin, gets up-close and personal, their noses only inches apart. Hanbin stays on the desk, curious, eyebrows knotted together, a little shook by their sudden closeness.) “Get the fuck out.”

HANBIN: (Whispers, slightly dazed.) “What?”

BOBBY: (Tone firm, emotionless.) “Get the fuck out.”

HANBIN: (Taken aback.) “Excuse you? You’re not even half—”

BOBBY: “No, idiot, that’s what you tell him. Say the words, get the fuck out. It’s as simple as that.”

HANBIN: (Understanding, dismissive, A little flustered.) “I trie—”

BOBBY: “Did you, though?”

HANBIN: “I did. He’s just, he does this thing… I don’t know, I’m weak.”

BOBBY: (Leans forward til their noses bump, Looks intensely into Hanbin’s eyes.) “You’re not weak, you’re Elle Woods, you can dump a guy.” (Turns, walks back to the car, starts work again. Nonchalant.)

HANBIN: (Slow smile.) “I’m sorry, I think my ears are bleeding, did you just compliment me?”

BOBBY: “In a way, I just told you you have a vagina, so take that as you will.”

HANBIN: (Smile less taut.) “Asshole.”

BOBBY: “Brat.” (Smirks, curious.) “So what’s wrong with this Junhoe dude that he makes you so miserable?”

HANBIN: “We just… don’t… connect? Like, we do, physically, I guess. Just not… in any other sense.” (Licks his lips.) “It’s like, if I have a shit day, he’s playing video games, if I’m bored, he’s sleeping, if I’m talking about a book, he’s… completely clueless, literally every single time. Which is fine, I don’t expect him to be like fucking Yeats or some shit, but he… could try, you know? He could try to do something I like, apart from sex.”

BOBBY: “So… you’re complaining about too much sex?”

HANBIN: “I’m complaining about the fact that I feel like a… whore, around him… and for those fifteen or twenty minutes, I don’t mind it. And that scares me.”

BOBBY: “That must suck.”

HANBIN: “Quite literally.” (Bobby sniffs in laughter. Hanbin lights up at the sight of his nose crinkling.) “Let no man say that I never made you laugh.”

BOBBY: “Is he good at it, though? At sex, I mean.”

HANBIN: “Obviously.”

BOBBY: “How good?”

HANBIN: “Crazy good.”

BOBBY: (Walks to a nearby cooler, opens it, takes out a Heineken.) “Damn.”

HANBIN: “I know. But, as soon as I do dump him, I’ll be right back on the wagon, so.”

BOBBY: (Tips the bottle to his lips, gulps, adam apple popping. Hanbin stares openly.) “Why? Do you bounce back that fast?”

HANBIN: “No, no. My parents set me up with a lot of guys.” (Bobby sits down on the desk next to him, Hanbin makes room.) “They’re really supportive of the whole… gay thing.”

BOBBY: “You don’t pick your own boyfriends?”

HANBIN: “No, I do, I just don’t… ask them out myself. It’s kind of convenient, since my dad already approves of them. He only wants the best for me.”

BOBBY: (Sips the beer, clicks his tongue.) “The best for you tend to make you feel like shit, so… here we have a plot-hole.”

HANBIN: “Not always— sometimes. Most times. I don’t know.”

BOBBY: “You should try making your own decisions, Riches. What are you, afraid you’ll make the wrong ones?”

HANBIN: “I… I do make my own decisions. I think.”

BOBBY: “You don’t.”

HANBIN: (Defensive.) “I do.”

BOBBY: “You don’t.”

HANBIN: “What do you know?”

BOBBY: “I know that you don’t pick your own boyfriends, and that’s a little sad.”

HANBIN: (Gives up.) “Okay, fine, I’m scared I’ll pick wrong and fuck everything up. That’s all I ever do. I can’t even dump my own boyfriend right for Christ’s sake…” (Bites his lips, regretful.) “There, you happy now?”

BOBBY: (Turns 90 degrees on the desk to face Hanbin. Their faces a little closer than necessary.) “Alright, since you’ve basically laid out your whole love-life in front of me, I’ll tell you something about me.”

HANBIN: (Jaded.) “I’m listening.”

BOBBY: “Don’t react, but when I was ten, my parents split up. Don’t ask why, or how, or whatever, I’ve already asked that question. They suck. Their loss.” (Takes a breath.) “What my point is, is that since then, I made my own life. I treated myself like an adult… and a human. Humans make mistakes, Riches. It happens, life goes on, and there’s a big fucking rainbow at the end of every decision, wether you like it or not.” (Side-smiles.)

HANBIN: (Guarded, still hurt, arms folded.) “As liberating as that sounds, your parents abandoned you and you’re a mechanic. I don’t see your rainbow.”

BOBBY: “Wow.” (Laughs humorlessly, gets up, looks directly at Hanbin, smile completely gone, face blank and gaze hardening.) “Nice.” (Walks briskly towards the door.)

HANBIN: (Once Bobby’s gone, shoulders slump, hides his face in his hands, mutter-yells.) “Fuck.”


	5. Thursday.

##Thursday

[Mino's. Bobby's writing in a notebook and tapping on a calculator. Hanbin walks in, gulps, takes a second to compose himself, and walks towards Bobby.]

HANBIN: "Hi." (Scratches the back of his head, awkward silence.) "I'm sorry."

BOBBY: (Punching buttons on his calculator.) "Are you?" 

HANBIN: "Yes. Very. Yesterday was... I don't know what that was. I'm not like that."

BOBBY: "Sure."

HANBIN: "I'm not, I swear. I just... lashed out on you, and I don't— I felt," (Struggling.) "Vulnerable. Like, i was being dissected or analyzed or some shit, and I couldn't do anything about it."

BOBBY: (Monotone.) "I don't know man, but if you're the kind of guy that'd judge people based on what they do for a living, then you're pretty fucking pathetic."

HANBIN: (Agitated.) "I don't!"

BOBBY: (Looks up.) "You clearly do!" (Sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes, calmer.) "Look, it's whatever, I don't care. My parents did abandon me, I am a mechanic, ergo your dick-headed presence here. And I have math."

HANBIN: "But are we good?"

BOBBY: "What do you mean 'good'?"

HANBIN: "Like, do you forgive me?"

BOBBY: "If that'll get you to stop talking to me til you die, yeah."

HANBIN: (Troubled.) "But," (Bobby goes back to writing in his notebook. Hanbin opens his mouth to speak, then closes it.)

[Hanbin leaves. Bobby continues solving equations. Hanbin returns half an hour later.]

HANBIN: (Holding two Starbucks cups and a paper bag.) "Do you drink coffee?" (Bobby doesn't look up.) "Okay, guess not." (Sets his own cup on the desk, walks back to Bobby.) "I got you a muffin... I don't know if you like muffins; sometimes people hate muffins, especially the blueberry one." (Almost nonchalant.) "Sometimes people taste the blueberry muffin and think, fuck, this is disgusting, this 'thing' is invading my entire mouth. But then they keep chewing and the crappy aftertaste becomes kind of endearing... then it's pretty good."

BOBBY: (Quirks his head up briefly.) "I like math."

HANBIN: "Uh," (Eyebrows knotted.) "That wasn't on the menu?"

BOBBY: (Staring at his page.) "I like math 'cause it's numbers, it's equations, it's mechanics, calculus— it's logical. You can break it down or build it up, and you'd understand it from start to finish." (Glances at Hanbin.) "You're not math."

HANBIN: (Eyebrows raised. Recovers, shrugs it off.) "Because I'm a cookie, obviously." (No response, unsure of what to do, holds up the bag.) "So will you take the muffin and forgive me for real?"

BOBBY: "You," (Huffs an exhale, shakes his head slightly.) "You can't just buy me a muffin and," (Pauses, bites his lip.) "Never mind."

HANBIN: (Shrugs.) "I guess it's a thing I do. Whenever I think I hurt someone, I just... give them something and they get over it. I hate you, a wrist watch. You're dumb, a bag. I don't want to have sex, sex. It works; it's a pretty effective system."

BOBBY: "I'm not weird like that."

HANBIN: "Everyone is weird like that."

BOBBY: "I'm not."

HANBIN: (After a pause.) "So... not even a little bit Starbucks? It's really good." (Waving the cup around.) "Come on, just look at it. It's got caramel. Who the hell says no to caramel?" (Sipping the coffee.) "Mmm, so good. No, that wasn't the sound of me having an orgasm; I was just having my first sip of coffee." (Bobby folds his arms and observes Hanbin.) "You know you want to, Bonny." (Crosses his eyes as he drinks the coffee and moans. Bobby snickers slightly.) "A laugh! My god, a laugh! Someone tell the president cuz the oceans are 'bout to boil and hell freeze. We're all about to fucking die."

BOBBY: (Conflicted facial expressions, covering his mouth, eyes closing.) "I don't want to laugh, but I keep doing it anyway."

HANBIN: "You see, when one is amidst my dick-headed presence, one tends to like the crappy aftertaste. And then one laughs at the crappy aftertaste's hilarious jokes." (Smile turns slightly somber.) "I'm sorry, okay? I'm a complete idiot, don't take it personally."

BOBBY: "It's hard not to."

HANBIN: "I know. I know that. But it won't happen again. I promise you that, and I don't break promises."

BOBBY: (Scoffs, arms still folded.) "Wow, clichéd much?"

HANBIN: "Yeah, I know, but I really don't break my promises. I promise."


	6. Friday.

##Friday 

Scene 1  
[Mino's. 3:05PM. Bobby's working on the car and Hanbin's sitting on the desk, staring through the window.]

HANBIN: "I'm bored. Let's do something."

BOBBY: "What do you have in mind?"

HANBIN: "There's a carnival nearby. I saw a flier on the way here. Let's go."

BOBBY: "I have work."

HANBIN: "Come on. Get up." (Walks up to Bobby.) "Bobby, it's my car, so it's not like the costumer is gonna get pissed at you for slacking. And you said you'd be done by the end of the week. It's Friday. You'll be done by Sunday, and I'm bored as fuck. So can we, please?"

BOBBY: "You can go on your own."

HANBIN: "Only pedophiles go to carnivals alone. Now would you please take a break, and go with me?"

BOBBY: (Looks at Hanbin, sighing.) "Why not; we'll go back to our own worlds after Sunday, anyway."

##

Scene 2  
[At the carnival. The two walk near the rides, Hanbin holding cotton candy.]

BOBBY: "Of course, you'd pick the pink one."

HANBIN: "I like pink. Since when did the colors become masculine or feminine, anyway?"

BOBBY: "Since the dawn of mankind."

HANBIN: "Well, the dawn of mankind can suck my dick, because I like pink. Pink is life. You should be pink. Literally die all your hair pink— even your eyebrows and pubes. That's just how aesthetic the color pink is."

BOBBY: "Do you often harbor thoughts about my pubes?"

HANBIN: (A clown jumps in front of them.) "Oh my— shit. (Grips Bobby's hand.) "I hate clowns."

BOBBY: (Looks at their hands, then at Hanbin, smiles with his eyes.) "You're scared of the silliest things, Riches." 

HANBIN: "I'm not scared. I'm observing from a distance. No fuckin' way's that thing coming near me."

BOBBY: "Is that what you tell Junhoe in the bedroom?"

HANBIN: "Shut up. We were talking about clowns."

BOBBY: "Casually changing the subject, I see. Okay then." (Brief pause.) "They're kind of scary, clowns. With their intimidating make-up. Really, I'm quaking in my sneakers."

HANBIN: "They're not scary. They're fucking creepy. And I read an article about this psychotic clown that went around killing people who laughed at his jokes. He went like 'you're gonna die laughing' and people still laughed. Morons."

BOBBY: (Squinting slightly.) "I'm pretty sure you didn't read an article on that."

HANBIN: "Why?"

BOBBY: "Because you just quoted an episode of Ben Ten."

HANBIN: "What?"

BOBBY: "Zambozo? The circus freaks? He said the exact thing to his audience. You're gonna die laughing."

HANBIN: "I've never watched that show in my life. I read an article."

BOBBY: "Damn. You think it could be based off a true story?"

HANBIN: "It probably is." (Smirking, turns to Bobby for a second.) "But more importantly, you watch Ben Ten?"

BOBBY: (Groans.) "I was hoping you'd let that slide."

HANBIN: "Sweetheart, if there's one thing you should know about me, is that I never let an opportunity to insult slide."

BOBBY: (Tilts his chin up.) "Okay. Yes, I watch Ben Ten?"

HANBIN: "Do you also watch Teletubbies? I heard Twinky Winky's a real babe. And Po's just orgasm central."

BOBBY: "Ben Ten's a good show. Don't make fun of me."

HANBIN: "Why ever would I make fun of you for watching a show rated 13 and below?"

BOBBY: (Quietly.) "It's eight and above." (Pause during which Hanbin snorts.) "I like having certain constants in my life."

HANBIN: "What do you mean?"

BOBBY: "Like... math. Everything can change, but math stays the same. Its a constant. The rules of calculus and mechanics don't change because your parents left you. I used to watch Ben Ten when I was a kid, and I didn't stop. That's another constant. I'll be off to college soon, but I still... need my constants."

HANBIN: "Change is good sometimes, though."

BOBBY: "I know, but..."

HANBIN: "But...?"

BOBBY: "I need some things to stay the same. Familiar."

HANBIN: "This is change. How often do you go to the carnival with a spoiled rich kid?" (Bobby shrugs, Hanbin glances down at their hands and rubs his thumb softly against Bobby's skin.) "Besides some new things can become constants too."

##

Scene 3  
[Mino's. 6:00PM. The two just return.]

HANBIN: "There was a freaking parade of clowns, what the fuck?!" 

BOBBY: (Holding back a laugh.) "You should've seen your face! You were scared shitless and basically trying to absorb yourself in me."

HANBIN: "I wasn't that close."

BOBBY: (Laughing.) "You were like a damn snake. I felt like I was being attacked."

HANBIN: "Shut up, shut up. Ugh— how do I change the topic? Work brain, work."

BOBBY: (In tears.) "You were so fucking cute." (Stops laughing immediately, eyes widen along with Hanbin's.) "I mean— uh."

[Awkward silence ensues. They stare at each other intently. Hanbin's phone then rings loudly.]

HANBIN: (Looking at the caller ID.) "Um, I have to take this. I'll be right back."

BOBBY: (Once Hanbin goes outside, palms his face.) "What on earth are you doing, Bobby?"

HANBIN: (On the phone.) "Hello, dad."

JEONGJU: "Hanbin! Glad you finally answered. Tell me, where are you again?"

HANBIN: "I'm out with Junhoe. We went to that ice rink you like."

JEONGJU: "Ah, good! Also, it's October, and as we've discussed, you need to finish up your application to Dartmouth. Do it after your date, when you're home."

HANBIN: (Lips parted.) "But, dad, we talked about me keeping my options open. If I apply early and get in, I can't go anywhere else."

JEONGJU: "Well, Dartmouth's a fine school. I went there, your mother went there. I don't see why you'd want to go anywhere else. You're a double legacy, Hanbin, you're a shoe-in. Now do fill it out when you get home."

HANBIN: "But I—"

JEONGJU: "No buts. Home. See you then, son."

HANBIN: (Walks back inside, emotionless.) "I have to get going."

BOBBY: (Clearly disappointed, tries not to let it show, shrugs it off.) "Oh, yeah, of course. We'll finish up tomorrow. You'll actually be able to drive home this time, instead of walking."

HANBIN: "Can't wait."

##

Scene 4  
[Next day. Mino's. 10:30AM. Bobby's working on another car. Minho's nearby.]

MINHO: "What's with the mopy-ass face, Bob?"

BOBBY: "What?"

MINHO: "I've been around you a long time. I know what your depressed teenager face looks like." (Observing Bobby's reaction.) "Where's the rich kid?"

BOBBY: (Eyes look up momentarily.) "He's usually here by 3 or 4, when I start on his car."

MINHO: "Uh huh. You wanna tell me what's wrong now or're we gonna keep playing this nothing's wrong something's wrong game?"

BOBBY: "Nothing's wrong."

MINHO: "Look, Bobby, this whole week you've been lit up. Smiling like it's freakin' Christmas in July."

BOBBY: (Still working.) "Dunno what you're talking about."

MINHO: "Lemme finish you little shit... the point is, you're like my brother, Bobby. I know I ain't the best guy around, but I like seeing you like that. It's good to be happy. That rich kid makes you happy?" (Bobby's caught off guard, stops working, nods at Minho without realizing.) "Then you gotta fight, dumbass. You gotta fight for what you want. You won't have him if you let him go and he won't come back if you push him away. That's some common sense for you right there."

[Minho leaves. Bobby looks at the engine, deciding what to do. Hanbin enters the garage, eyebrows knotted. Bobby lights up.]

BOBBY: "Hanbin—"

HANBIN: "Fuck you."

BOBBY: "Excuse me?"

HANBIN: "Fuck... you."

BOBBY: "Did I miss something here...?"

HANBIN: "You had to do it, didn't you? You just had to make me realize that my life —my whole damn life— is all planned out for me? That it sucks? That I hate every fucking aspect of it? Fuck you, Bobby."

BOBBY: (Realizing.) "I'm not 'bout to apologize for bursting—"

HANBIN: "Stop that."

BOBBY: "Stop what?"

HANBIN: "That. That thing you do. That goddamn look of like, I'm about to prove you're a fucking dumbass."

BOBBY: "What look?"

HANBIN: "That look. I'm not dumb. I'm spolied. There's a difference."

BOBBY: "I'm so confused."

HANBIN: "Shut up. I'm so irritated right now I don't even know what to yell about —ugh!— you fucked with my brain."

BOBBY: (Tilts his head.) "By asking you to make decisions by yourself?"

HANBIN: "Yes— by doing exactly that! Now I want to do it— I want to tell my dad to take his plan and shove it. I don't wanna do anything I'm supposed to do. I want to not go to Dartmouth, I want to date whoever I want, I want to kis—" (Stops himself, covers his mouth, eyes wide, walks out.)

HANBIN: (Returns after a while.) "How long is the car gonna take?"

BOBBY: (Switched to Hanbin's car by then.) "I'm just about done."

HANBIN: (Arms folded, huffs.) "Thank god."


	7. Saturday

## Saturday.

Scene 1  
[Bobby walks briskly towards Kim Manor, once he reaches the door he knocks impatiently. Hanbin answers it, surprised.]

HANBIN: "What are you doing here?"

BOBBY: "I need to talk to you."

HANBIN: "Again, why are you here?"

BOBBY: "Because you wouldn't come by Minho's anymore, now that you're car's fixed."

HANBIN: "Well... yeah, okay, come in. If you see my parents, let me talk." (Lets Bobby inside, they walks towards Hanbin's room, Jeong Ju enters.) 

JEONGJU: "Hanbin! Here you are, I was just speaking with the Songs... and who is this?"

HANBIN: "Dad, Bobby. Bobby, this is dad."

BOBBY: "It's a pleasure."

JEONGJU: (Smiling.) "Yes, it certainly is. Where did you say you met?"

BOBBY: "Well—"

HANBIN: "At the skating rink."

JEONGJU: "The one you went to with Junhoe?"

HANBIN: "Yeah."

JEONGJU: (Gives Bobby an uneasy once-over, still smiling.) "Right then. As you were."

###

Scene 2  
[Hanbin's room. Bobby's sitting on the bed, Hanbin's pacing.]

HANBIN: "Did you see that? The way he looked at you? That's the same way he looked at me when I said I'd apply to college on my own. Like I'm... less. Like I'm a moron."

BOBBY: "You're not a moron."

HANBIN: "Really? 'Cause I've been doing some pretty moronic shit for the last seventeen years. I didn't even pick my own boyfriend... speaking of which, I hate Junhoe. He makes me homicidal and horny at the same time and it is the most fucked up feeling."

BOBBY: "Is moronic even a word?"

HANBIN: (Stops pacing, narrows his eyes at Bobby.) "Really? That's what you picked up on?"

BOBBY: "When I'm mad, I picture your Starbucks slurping face, and I feel better."

HANBIN: "What, this face?" (Does the face, Bobby laughs, then his expression goes serious.)

BOBBY: "Hanbin, I came here to apologize. I never meant to make you feel inferior, just because your life wasn't as... independent, as mine."

HANBIN: (Snorts.) "It'd be poetic justice for the way I've probably made everyone around me feel. Don't worry about it. I'm not made of glass." (Side-smiles.) "I should be the one apologizing to you. You didn't deserve the way I acted yesterday day. It was immature as fuck, even for me."

BOBBY: (Shrugs.) "I'm no made of glass either."

HANBIN: "What are you made of?"

BOBBY: "What kind of question us that...? Flesh, blood... bones?"

HANBIN: (Shakes his head.) "Never mind. I was trying to get you to philosophize."

BOBBY: "No, I plan to work for a living."

HANBIN: (Hisses a laugh.) "Funny."

BOBBY: "It's true. You can't make a career out of a philosophy major." (Pauses.) "Speaking of which, have you decided on your major?"

HANBIN: "I wanna take Psych, but dad—" (Sees Bobby's raised eyebrows.) "You know what, it doesn't matter what he wants. I know what I want."

BOBBY: "And what is that?"

HANBIN: "To be a Psych major, duh, what do you think?"

BOBBY: "Oh, right. That's what I thought too." (Looks out the window, sees Jeong Ju walking around barking orders and glancing at them.) "He's circling the house like a shark."

HANBIN: "He does that during campaign season. Everything has to be perfect; the trophy wife looks ever-so-elegant, the gay son whom he fully accepts has a respectable well-known boyfriend. Anything for the voters."

BOBBY: (Looking at Jeong Ju walking around.) "It's unsettling."

HANBIN: "You get used to it." (Looks in the same direction as Bobby, his face contorts.) "Actually, no. I hate it. Let's go."

BOBBY: (Gets up, relieved.) "Where?"

HANBIN: "Anywhere." (Flashes Bobby the keys.) "Wanna drive?"

BOBBY: (Eyes wide.) "I've always wanted to! Can I?"

HANBIN: (Slow smile.) "Of course." (Afterthought.) "But if you fuck it up, you fix it for free."

###

Scene 3  
[In the car. Bobby's driving. Hanbin has his feet pressed to the dashboard and observes Bobby.]

HANBIN: "You look so... happy."

BOBBY: "Well, yeah, I've wanted to drive one of these since I was a kid."

HANBIN: "It's strange."

BOBBY: "Why is it strange?"

HANBIN: "Because you're excited. You're never excited."

BOBBY: "I'm just pessimistic. Excitement is rare, but it happens."

HANBIN: "It's kind of fascinating. The difference."

BOBBY: (Bites his lips, hesitant.) "One of those rare moments happened for you yesterday, didn't it?"

HANBIN: "What?"

BOBBY: "You're always... excited and optimistic. Yesterday, after the um, cute-incident, you looked drained."

HANBIN: "Yeah. Just my dad dictating my life for me. The usual. It pissed me off yesterday, which was weird."

BOBBY: "Why was it weird?"

HANBIN: "I kept... thinking about what you said. That I should make my own decisions."

BOBBY: "Is that what caused the whole outburst later?"

HANBIN: "Yeah, pretty much. All that shit you say gets to me, and I needed an outlet for all the pent-up mental fucked-up-ness."

BOBBY: "It does?"

HANBIN: "Stop sign." (Once the car starts moving again.) "So, the car obsession. Did that start pre-abandonment or post?" 

BOBBY: "Post. My parents took me to a derby couple of days before they left."

HANBIN: "Is that why you like cars so much?"

BOBBY: "Yeah, I guess. Must've shifted my affection to cars."

HANBIN: (Realizes he's been thinking quietly for a while.) "Where are we going?"

BOBBY: "You'll see."

###

Scene 4  
[9:00PM. The car's parked. The two lie on the hood of the car, looking up at the sky.]

HANBIN: "There are so many goddamn stars."

BOBBY: "Yeah. I come up here sometimes just to look at them."

HANBIN: "I wish I knew the constellations."

BOBBY: (Points up.) "That one's the North Star."

HANBIN: (Squints.) "You sure about that, Bonny?"

BOBBY: "Okay, no. I just made that up."

HANBIN: "'t's cool. Happens to the best of us."

BOBBY: "Whatever. I'm gonna continue making constellation up." (Points randomly.) "That one's the Sextans. That one over there's the Pisces. (Hanbin pulls Bobby's arm up on the hood and rests his head on it, Bobby gives him a look.)

HANBIN: "What? Cars aren't soft, you are."

BOBBY: "You clearly haven't seen all of me."

HANBIN: "Not unless you're a porn star or a camboy, no."

BOBBY: "Anyway... back to the stars—"

HANBIN: (Pointing at a random cluster.) "That one's called the big-dicker."

BOBBY: (Smirks.) "I found the medium-dicker."

HANBIN: "The medium-dicker?"

BOBBY: "What? The poor guy's not that small. He's aight."

HANBIN: "Is that what you tell your girlfriends in the bedroom? Like, I know it's not the Eiffel Tower but he's aight?"

BOBBY: (Laughs.) "Never had a girlfriend."

HANBIN: "Well damn, your dating game is weak."

BOBBY: "It's not weak; I just choose not to date anyone."

HANBIN: "You choosing not to date is like me observing clowns from a distance."

BOBBY: (Eyebrows knotted.) "I don't get it."

HANBIN: "Well, you see... it's a load of crap."

BOBBY: "I can date people, okay."

HANBIN: "Can you?"

BOBBY: "I can." 

HANBIN: "Prove it."

BOBBY: "I don't want to."

HANBIN: "What was that?" (Puts his hand to his ear to 'hear' better.) "You're un-dateable?"

BOBBY: (Sighs.) "Wanna go back? You should probably get home before your phone starts ringing." (Hanbin looks up at him, pulls out his phone, takes out the battery, throws the phone and the battery to the ground.)

HANBIN: "What phone?"

BOBBY: (Smiles at him. They stare at each intensely for a minute, before Hanbin leans forward slowly, tentatively, hesitantly, and Bobby quickly closes the other half of the distance, bringing their lips together in a slow, experimental kiss. Bobby's fingers lock around Hanbin's jaw, leaning into him farther and farther, tongue greedily licking the seam of Hanbin's bottom lip until Hanbin exhales hotly against him and opens up, welcoming Bobby's wet, slick, warm tongue to tangle up with his own and lick every inch of the roof of his mouth exploringly. Hanbin's hand moves to Bobby's cheek and then Bobby's suddenly reeling back, inhumanly fast, alarmed, disbelieving. Hanbin looks up at him, eyebrows together, eyes wide.) "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

HANBIN: (Sits up, looks up at the horizon momentarily, a little sad.) "We should get back."

###


	8. Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo last part ready or nah

##Sunday.

Scene 1  
[3:15PM. Hanbin's room. Hanbin lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling.]

HANBIN: "Fuck." (Closes his eyes.) "Fuck, fuck, fuck-fuck-fuck... okay, Hanbin, you are Elle Woods. You can do this." (Opens his eyes, takes a long deep breath in, then exhales.)

###

Scene 2  
[Hanbin searches the house until he finds Junhoe playing video games.]

HANBIN: "Pack your shit."

JUNHOE: "What—"

HANBIN: "Pack your shit up from my room and get out. You don't live here— I don't want you to live here. And I don't want to date you. I'm breaking up with you."

JUNHOE: (Gets up, reaches to hold Hanbin.) "Baby, come on, this is silly."

HANBIN: (Pushes his hands away, irritated.) "No, get away from me and get the fuck out."

JUNHOE: "Babe..."

HANBIN: "Don't babe me, fuckin' free-loader."

JEONGJU (Walking up.) "What's this I hear about a break-up?" (Eyebrows raised.) "Hanbin, the elections are coming up. You can't do this now. Just wait a month, two tops. The Songs have a lovely son who just came out of the—"

HANBIN: "Stop! Just... stop." (Jeongju gapes, it's quiet.) "Look, dad," (Pause, Jeongju looks at him questioningly, eyebrows raised.) "Junhoe crashed the Porsche."

JEONGJU (Eyes bulging.) "WHAT?"

HANBIN: "It's okay, it's fine. I got it fixed. Bobby fixed it up, bu—"

JEONGJU: "That grease-ball? Son, you've got no business hanging around kids like that."

HANBIN: "No, stop— that's what I'm trying to tell you. You can't dictate my entire life to me. I'll just do what I want— I'll pick my own college, I'll date who I want, I'll be friends with people who actually like me... and while we're at it, I'm majoring in Psychology at college because I like learning about how people work. I like learning why a guy would watch Ben Ten or be weirdly obsessed with Math. And I simply like that fucking subject, too. Political science can take a damn hike. Capisce?" 

JEONGJU: "Where is this coming from? Was it that boy?"

HANBIN: "No, dad, it came from me. That was the most me thing I've said in my entire life." (Turns to walk out, stops near the door.) "Also, Junhoe, if you aren't gone by the time I'm back, I'll leak your nudes. (Looks at Jeongju.) "I'm sure the voters would just eat that up."

JEONGJU: "You're blackmailing me? My own son?"

HANBIN: "I'm not. I'm saying treat my decisions with respect, and in turn I'll respect you. I'm not a moron. I'm Elle Woods." (Turns to Junhoe.) "And I'm not a slut. I like talking, and communicating, and kissing without purpose. You make me miserable, Junhoe, so please, let me... be me." (Walks out to leave Jeongju and Junhoe to ponder in silence.)

JUNHOE: "Well, it's been real, Mister K."

###

Scene 3  
[Scene opens with Bobby tightening his bolt in an engine at MINO's. Hears footsteps, looks up, sees Hanbin.]

HANBIN: "I did it. I told him." (Smiling wide.) "I did it, Bobby."

BOBBY: "I'm glad." (Smiles back, teeth and dimples in full display.) "Why are you here, though?" (Eyes Hanbin's car outside.) "Your car seems to be working fine."

HANBIN: "Well, we're friends. Friends show up unannounced."

BOBBY: "Friends, huh?" 

HANBIN: "You're probably even my best friend, given that I don't really have any others."

BOBBY: "Hey, woah there, Riches. I can't make huge commitments like this on such short notice. I need to be bribed with coffee first."

HANBIN: (Smiles.) "I kind of knew you would." (Goes back to car. Fetches coffees. Comes back inside. The two sit on the desk as they sip them.)

BOBBY: "Hey Hanbin?"

HANBIN: "Hmm?"

BOBBY: "Do the face." (Hanbin does the face without question, Bobby laughs.) "Every time."

HANBIN: "So... last night was weird."

BOBBY: (Groans.) "I was hoping you wouldn't mention that. I didn't mean to kiss you, Bin—"

HANBIN: "Do you regret it?"

BOBBY: "Uh..." (Watches Hanbin.) "Yes?"

HANBIN: (Nods. Finishes his coffee in silence. Dull.) "I have to go."

BOBBY: (Bites his lip, gets up and holds Hanbin's wrist as he's leaving.) "Wait." (Hanbin looks at him.) "This annoying wise-ass once told me that if I want something, I've gotta fight for it." (Pause, studies Hanbin.) "So, fuck it, I don't regret it, Hanbin— I don't regret kissing you and I'd do it again. And I know I'm not the kind of guy that you'd go for cause it'll hurt your image or whatever— I know that I'm an asshole, and a mechanic and a math-freak and I make up constellation and... and there was a point to this somewhere... I don't know, I forgot my point. But yeah, that's how I feel— there you have it."

HANBIN: (Taken back for a second, then walks up to Bobby fast, places his hands on either side of Bobby's face and kisses him smack on the lips, wet and sweet.) "I don't care what you do. I don't care about my image. Fuck that, I care about who you are and who you want to be, and for the record..." (Pushes a strand of hair out of Bobby's face.) "Math is my favorite subject."

BOBBY: "I thought it was Psych?"

HANBIN: "Eh..." (Shrugs.) "Math is a close second."

BOBBY: "Oh, so I'm second then. Thanks, Riches. Really, I appreciate that right after I poured my non-existent heart out to you."

HANBIN: (Giggles.) "Don't worry, the second time's usually better than the first. Is that a helpful analogy?"

BOBBY: (Smiles wider.) "I suddenly like being second." (Fetches a paper bag from the desk and hands it to Hanbin.) "Also, uh..."

HANBIN: (Looks inside.) "Oh."

BOBBY: "Yeah. I was... gonna orffer this as an olive branch. I know you wanted a cookie, but they were out."

HANBIN: (Looks up.) "Whatever; cookies are overrated. I could get used to cheesecake."

[They sit on the desk. Hanbin shares the cheesecake with Bobby.]

BOBBY: "So, can cheese cake by your second?"

HANBIN: "Only if it's from you."

BOBBY: "That was cheesy."

HANBIN: "There's a pun in here somewhere... but I'm really into this cheesecake, so I'm gonna think of it later."

BOBBY: "Hey Hanbin?"

HANBIN: "Mhmm?"

BOBBY: "I kind of can't believe we only met a week ago."

HANBIN: "Me neither; I guess time really is relative. I mean I've been with my parents since birth, and I've always lived a blue-print. Then last Sunday I met you, and you were... such a fucking asshole." (Laughs lightly.) "And I was like, who does this frustrating mother-fucker think he is?" (Slight pause.) "And then somewhere in the middle, you got me to be an actual person, instead of a headline on a magazine... and now, I'm sitting here, with that ugly-ass politician of a cat still roaming around, and I'm eating cheesecake. Which I'm supposed to hate, but right now I like it a lot, which is... strange. This whole thing is... strange. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I kind of can't believe it either. One week, man. It feels like half a lifetime ago."

BOBBY: "I have a question."

HANBIN: "Okay."

BOBBY: "What now? Like... what are we supposed to do, now that you know how I feel."

HANBIN: "Let's start with this." (Dusts his hands together, sticks his right hand to Bobby.) "Hi. I'm Hanbin. I'm Kim Jeongju's son, but that's not important. I'm a former spolied brat— or at least I hope I am. I make Legally Blonde references at the drop of a hat... I've never asked a boy out in my life, even though I'm probably the farthest thing from a virgin in existence." (Laughs lightly.) "Will you, Bonny, go out with me, or do I just awkwardly walk away now?"

BOBBY: (After shaking Hanbin's hand slowly.) "You did bribe me with coffee, so I'm gonna say..." (Feigns thinking it over.) "Maybe."

HANBIN: (Blinks twice.) "Wait, what?"

BOBBY: "Yeah. Maybe."

HANBIN: "What the hell, I just... I thought. What?"

BOBBY: "It's Kim."

HANBIN: "I'm confused."

BOBBY: "My last name is Kim. Try asking me out now. I might even say yes this time."

HANBIN: "No, you blew it, I'm not asking you out now." (Contines eating cheesecake, Bobby sniggers next to him, and Hanbin can't help smiling.) "Asshole."

BOBBY: "Brat."

##The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand it's done, ladies and gents! 
> 
> this is meant to be short and sweet, so it doesn't seem rushed. notice they have only kissed. hope it seemed organized and streamlined to you. i personally had so much fun writing this and hope it made y'all at least smile ♡ and who knows maybe i'll post bonus chapters sometime if you guys are up for that :^) 
> 
> i do have much more controversial ideas and stuff i wanna write that will probably send me to hell, but college is a fucking pain and im at that point of the semester where i have this constant feeling of an upcoming mental breakdown and i really just want a hug. 
> 
> anyways thank you so much for reading!! i harbour an unhealthy amount of love for you guys ♡
> 
> pls don't hesitate to hmu on [tumblr!](https://kingofthezungle.tumblr.com/)


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